I Hate "Roundabouts!"

Driving today is supposed to be much "simpler" with these "Roundabouts." You know those things....they are supposed to make our "driving experience" much safer and smoother???

In studies, they show less accidents and a more efficient flow of traffic. According to Wikipedia, "The term roundabout is reserved for circular flow intersections where entering traffic must yield to traffic already in the circle, so that traffic is calmed and flow through the intersection is maximized along with the highest safety for pedestrians and cyclists." Interestingly enough, I find them mind boggling and get anxiety every time I approach one. Instead of feeling "safe and secure" as they were supposedly designed for, I feel more overwhelmed like I am being swallowed up and about to get lost, miss my exit/entry or even overtaken. Take for example, this extreme photo of a roundabout:

WHAT I FEEL LIKE!!!!

Now, that too me is a more accurate depiction of what "roundabouts" are. They are similar to "revolving doors" that spin round and round and round and eventually you are supposed to "hop out" at your location. If you stay in the doors or on the roundabout, you continue going around and around in the same pattern/path. Well, this is how I have felt for the past 2 years as I stopped blogging. I was stuck in a "roundabout" overwhelmed with pressure to get off an exit but just kept circling around and around. A lot has happened since I was going to begin my "Journey to Break Free". (I have Broken Free and completed those lessons; however failed short at Blogging the experience. Looking back I wish I had continued because Breaking Free brought me to where I am today.) I have since gotten married and had another child. :-) Praise God for me being able to "Break Free" from the bondage that was holding me back from being able to love another as myself and partner with him til death do us part.

Since the past 2 years had so many changes such as: going from a single mom of two precious gifts to becoming a mom of 5 precious gifts!!!! (4 of which are now teenagers and 1 lil muffin face toddler); doubling the pet residency in this home and quadrupling the food intake along with the amount of  laundry loads with the addition of a husband--I got stuck on a Roundabout!!!!! That's where you would have found me had you gone looking. I was going around and around and around going nowhere but stuck circling in the same place.

I got caught up in being a mom, being a stepmom, a wife, and then a new mom again. I got caught up in laundry, dishes, breaking up arguments and creating them too. I was going to this practice and this practice. This concert and this event. I was performing all of my roles/duties in my own strength and got stuck. Sadly, I knew all along the answer was to let my God take my burdens. I knew he would direct my paths as he is a lamp unto my feet. (Proverbs 3:6 states "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."  Psalm 119:105 reminds me: "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.")

Many days in those years I reminded myself that He was my answer, my refuge and my saviour; however, I took "quick bites/nibbles" at those thoughts. The days turned into weeks. The weeks turned into months. Before I knew it the months turned into years and this blog was put on the back burner. My spiritual relationship with Jesus was "minimally maintained" and everything was getting half of the effort that each thing/person/animal/chore deserved.

Then one day it hit me. I HATE ROUNDABOUTS but only because I wasn't using them properly. Suddenly, my eyes were opened and I remembered how I got onto the roundabout. I entered it with God and needed to get off of it the same way. It was then I decided that I had to ask Him for directions. Immediately I was once again free from the same cycle.

When Roundabouts were first introduced, I resisted them because I wasn't familiar with how to utilize them. Now that I have a better understanding of the "flow of traffic" and the "yielding" that they entail; I no longer feel like I am suffocating. Similarly, this is like my relationship with Christ. I understand the need for the "flow of communication" to him and I understand the "yielding" that our relationship must have in order for me not to feel "swallowed up" or suffocating.

Through this journey of "roundabouts" I have a new found prayer to face each day: 

Psalms 143:10  Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.