It has been ever so long since I've blogged and you will not read any excuses as to why the sabbatical; however, I will share my heart and reassure any of you that "I have not Quit!" I am still fighting the good fight. In fact, today I reminded myself that: "when life is kicking you down, don't lay there dead but instead JUMP up and kick back harder." Over the past year, many blows have knocked me down and the path that I found myself struggling thru was one I would not have personally chosen; YET it's the one that was BEST for me to learn the MOST VALUABLE life lessons EVER! I won't bore you with all the details of...um...let's see...the 2009 year of my life, but I will tell you that as hard and difficult as it was-my God has never been more REAL or FAITHFUL! (For this, I am evermore grateful for his MERCY and GRACE!)
In short, I have learned to unconditionally love more of others and less of myself but yet have learned to love myself as others do too. I have learned that I matter to this universe and that I was created perfectly with all of my flaws! Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. I have learned that I am a sinner and always will be no matter how many times I go to church, read my Bible or pray. My expectations do not come from myself or others but lies that I have believed and been taught along this life; regrettably some from even the "church." I have been reminded and hope to remind any of you of Psalms 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. Another thing I have learned is that I do not have to please anyone or everyone for that matter and that I will never be able to even please myself. Only my Creator can fulfill my every longing, desire and need. Psalms 107:9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Matthew 6:31b What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
I have learned that I have not quit--I have only taken the rocky road to learn to love, trust, and know God on a much more intimate level. I have been personally Creator-Educated! At times, I let down my "Professor in Life" and I have made choices that crushed Him but it is He that knew my heart, knew my struggles and loved me thru all the falls. I would have quit--it was hard--I'm not going to lie; but He wouldn't leave me nor forsake me. He wouldn't let me go. He taught me to stare exasperation in the face, JUMP up and kick back even harder by trusting Him and ONLY Him. Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
If I had a pencil during these tests of 2009, I would have "erased" my answers/choices yet He reminded me the ONLY one who could "correct" or "take away" any of those blunders/mistakes was He Himself. After all, He made me perfectly with my flaws and brought to my remembrance that if I was perfect and whole I would have no need for Him! Mark 2:17b When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
So, here we go 2010 and the scholarly spiritual lessons we will journey upon. I have not quit--I'm just JUMPING and kicking harder than ever!
